RAKs are contagious!

We're trendsetters!! Thursday night, at a work dinner, I was telling people about our 10 in '10 list. I mentioned the random acts of kindness, and how I never know what qualifies as a "random" act of kindness. (I still haven't figured it out.) Anyways, the next day at work this was posted to the vending machine at work. Is it just a coincidence that I was at dinner with 20 co-workers one evening debating the randomness of these good deeds, and the very next day there are $2 posted to the vending machine asking them to pay it foward? This has never happened in the 3 years I've been there so I struggle to believe it is. Way to go, GO2K10!

Mark Morrison is Underrated. And Chris Rock is Wrong.

Today girl J and I took a road trip of sorts to Harper’s Ferry….and by “Harper’s Ferry” I mean a McDonald’s, some dandelion fields, and some random ass Maryland fiefdom where there were more cows than people. We eventually found Harper’s Ferry (twenty minutes before they shut it down) but that’s neither here nor there. The point is – we had about five solid hours of car time and it was ALL awesome. Why, you ask? Well – the scintillating wit of Girl J made the ride more than pleasant, but the real treat was a little piece of heaven I like to call “the nineties station on Sirius radio.” Simply put – those jams are the jam!

Girl J knows lots of things about lots of things – and she mentioned that Chris Rock has a sketch where he says your favorite songs are the songs you first “boned down” to. At first, being of innocent mind and body that I am, I thought she meant “boned” as in the first time you de-boned poultry. (I’ve never done that, so I’d be totally musically screwed). Then I thought per chance she misspoke, and by “boned down” she meant “boned up,” as in “before I saw Fiddler on the Roof, I ‘boned up’ on my Yiddish.”

I soon realized (after Girl J gave me a quick demonstration with some gummy bears about what happens when two people love each other) that the scandalous Girl J was speaking of the “doing it.” That means if Chris Rock is right, my favorite song would be “Your Body is a Wonderland.” Though sometimes when I’m drunk I get confused, and once screamed “I lost my virginity to this song!” while a nice Mormon boy played “Comfortable” at an open mic night. (All John Mayer ballads sound the same. Am I right?)

I gotta be honest, I would take “Return of the Mac” over “Wonderland” in a hot second - mostly because “Wonderland” now reminds me of frat houses, baboon noises, and egregious chest hair. Regardless, it got me thinking. Why am I so nostalgic for the late nineties? What was going on in my life that makes me squeal like a school girl every time En Vogue’s “Don’t Let Go” comes on the radio? Why do the sweet sounds of Montel Jordan’s “This is How We Do It” fill me with glee? Why does that Merry Moon song about vegetarians make me feel like a new age girl now matter how old I get? (She don’t eat meat but she sure likes to…bone. OMG I get it now! Filthy.)

A quick perusal of the ol’ early high school year books reveals that I was still awkward as hell in the nineties, knee deep in braces, acne, and tammy fae make up. If I remember correctly, I was dating a guy from Girl S and my grade school at the time, who left me for a cheerleader at one of the “public” high schools. (Skanky sinner she was.) I’m sure I hated my parents with a vengeance. I was wearing Air Walks religiously. I had not two, but a single brow (a “uni,” if you will). By all objective standards, the late-nineties should never have been my glory days. Nevertheless, I spent five hours today doing the “Come on and Ride It, the Train” dance out of the sun roof whilst belting Keith Sweat tunes.

And then it hit me – I may have been socially awkward, unkempt, and downright visually offensive, but I spent the early nineties with Girls S, J, and A. That’s when we all met each other (with the exception of S and I), when we all realized we had something pretty frickin’ special, and when we started on the not so long-and-winding road to becoming like family to each other. I’d do anything for these broads, and I know they’d do anything for me (except delete that video of me on my 22nd birthday half naked on the floor of my dorm room attempting to either break dance or throw up. The record is unclear).

The late nineties is when I got me some sisters. I’d say that trumps egregious chest hair any day…

Oh what a night...

If there was ever something to blog about, it would absolutely be my shitty-ass night. It all started out so normally, poppin’ bottles at the club with friends, but then we got separated and around 2:30 am, things went south for Girl S. I shake my fist to last night. I raise both hands and exclaim “COME ON?!” to last night. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die after last night (which almost happened, sorta). And since I can barley speak the words about the events that transpired, I’ll write about it. Let it all out, if you will. Please know this blog will contain expletives, and as usual we ask that if you cannot handle it, earmuff it- or eyemuff it, whatevs.

Some nights are great, and some nights you accidentally get locked in your own bathroom with no lights, no hope, and no way out. In my own defense, I didn’t know I was stuck in my lavatory. I actually have no clue how I ended up there, hopeless and in the dark, but I swear it when I say I couldn’t get out. The door handle wouldn’t budge, I was (apparently) too drunk to even consider turning on the lights, and somehow my crazy carnal instincts kicked in. I tried clawing through my own fucking bathroom wall. I couldn’t see anything, so I decided to dig with my nails. Then, I hulked-out and bent a reinforced steel towel holder, which I totes planned on ramming through the wall, ceiling or door to create a hole for me to crawl out of. It was at that moment I convinced myself I was losing oxygen.

Really, I don’t know how this started or how I unknowingly wound up in my bathroom, thinking my life was over. What I do know is that I need to stop watching shows about murderers, death and violence. I’ll just say it: I think I thought I had been kidnapped. It happens all the time on Criminal Minds, so I did what all the other kidnapped girls on TV do—I started scream-crying “HELP ME! HELP ME” and banging on the bathroom walls, which at the time I thought were closing in on me.

If you haven’t figured it out, I drank entirely too much last night. My evening sucked, even before the bathroom debacle, and it’s really got me wondering how we get ourselves involved in certain shitty situations. Oddly enough, getting stuck in my own bathroom wasn’t the worst thing that happened last night, but it was the most eye opening.

Here are a few things I learned:
1. You cant claw through drywall
2. My neighbors are ass-holes for not checking on me. I was probably screaming for 10 minutes straight.
3. When in doubt, relax and look for the light switch.
4. Don’t think the worst of every situation; you’re probably not locked in a storage unit without lights or air, waiting for Killer to come back and finish you off.
5. If anyone was keeping count, I officially hulk-out on vodka/soda now too. Please add it to the list after whiskey and tequila.

Clearly, I made it out alive. At some point the door popped itself open, or my screaming sobered me up long enough to locate the handle…but I swear it opened on its own, or perhaps Killer did it. The best part is, I actually have a friend who came over to make sure I was okay, and that there was no one in my house. At 3am. He didn’t even judge me, or my destroyed bathroom. I am some sorta crazy, I tell ya…

As always, I will leave the readers with a cheer. Something to sum up me night, matey.

R-O-W-D-I-E

THAT'S the way we spell ROWDIE

Get ROWDIE

YA YA

Get ROWDIE

ROWW-D!!!

Just me, my pineapple and my composition notebook pants...

Girl S here...finally...Below is the list of 10 things we need to accomplish in 2010. It took me 33 minutes to sort through emails to find this damn thing. I also woke up to 8am to the sound of chainsaws and blowers, so this blog about my current personal progress will most definately contain explitives. Earmuff it if you can't handle it- or Eyemuff it..whatevs

1. Go to a state you’ve never been to

2. Become a regular at a bar

3. Take one class on anything that interests you- must be a series

4. Read 1 book suggested by another one of us

5. Write a letter to the editor/get something published

6. Help Build a Home for someone – can’t know the person! Has to be an act of charity.
7. Try a New Church

8. Make a New Friend - We are talking straight up stranger here people.
9. Commit to writing for at least 10 minutes, 5 days a week

10. At least 1 day a month, perform a random act of kindness

My progress and thoughts are below. Please feel free to respond.

1. Go to a state you have never been to: We havent planned anything, and i'm getting scared because we have two ladies in this group getting married. Are you allowed to go on girlfriend trips once you're married?? What are the rules once you're hitched? What rules do your friends play by? I know there is a lot of hype about the bride, but all too often, 'here comes the bride' has meant ' there goes your buddy.'

2. Become a regular at a bar: Maybe we should switch this one for me "stay away from the bars so the bar-keep who saw you fall down the steps and throw your shoe at a bum will soon forget your name."

3. Take one class on anything that interest you: I cant commit to any sort of schoolin' until my 6 month grace period ends (May 2010). I dont like to be commited to learning. I just like to do it on my own. I spent 22 straight years in school and feel like the most important thing I learned was the golden rule...which doesnt cost $100k....oh, and I can sing-recite the preamble to the constitution. We the PEEEE-puuuulll....

4. Read 1 book suggested by another one of us: Seeee, I thought we had to read as many books as possible- i'm down here reading my ass off waiting for my fucking purple pin and personal pan pizza. FAIL.

5. Write a letter to the editor/get something published: I recently wrote a strongly worded letter to my apartment complex about the parking situation. It wasn't published or sent, but it was pretty fancy. One day though, I will write that book i've been threatening to. No names will be changed to protect the innocent. Just you wait..

6. Help Build a home for someone: I can't wait to do this!! If I could build homes for people who NEEDED them everyday of my damn life, I would do it. I'm extremely grassroots when it comes to most things, and I like using my hands and heart simultaneously. If my resume could simply read "I just wanna do good things, change the world, and make people happy," it would.

7. Try a new church: This one is tricky for me, i'll be honest. After 25ish years of the ole Body 'N Blood, I dont know if I can go elsewhere. I feel at home and comfortable in my faith, but in the way you are with your favorite sweatshirt or running shoes-- they feel good, but you know you need to change because they just don't fit anymore. I'm actually reading a book called "Angry Conversations with God," by Susan Isaacs, and have never related MORE in my life to a persons' thoughts, beliefs, questions and grievances with God. Once I solidify the foundation i've worked 25ish years to build, THEN I will explore what else is out there.

8. Make a New friend- straight up stranger: How friendly do we need to get? Do we need to be phone-talkin' friends?? Every friend I can think of I have met through another friend.--nutty. Seven degrees of separation, kevin bacon WHAT?! I would like to amend this to state: new friend cannot be made at work. AKA, when I get a new job, those fools don't count.

9. Commit to writing for a least 10 mins a day: YIIIKES. Even in all of unemployments' fabolous glory, I have not wanted to commit to sitting down and writing. I dont know if it's the writing or the committing, but its safe to say i'm equally terrified of both. On my list of life goals "write a book" is on the tippy tippy top, but simply writing my feelings is something I have dreaded since we had 'journaling' assingments in religion class at age 7. Wackness. What kinds of feelings could a 7 year old have? "I'm hungry. Danny looks so fine with his front tooth missing. Allison gave me lice. I can't wait for kickball?" I was worn out from journaling, and I couldnt express myself any more by the end of the 3rd grade. Now, I have an internal stigma associated with writing and expressing myself. I shake my fist, SPS*

10. At least 1 day a month, perform a random act of kindness: In the episode of Friends entitled "The one where Phoebe hates PBS," she tells Joey that all acts of kindness are inherently selfish because they make you feel good personally. So, Phoebe sets out to do things that are kind, but would make her feel bad AKA, getting stung by a bee so the bee would look macho to his bee-friends. The bee was played for a fool because he died as a result of the stinging. All i'm saying is kindness is a often a two way street, and Karma isn't always a bitch. It's okay to feel good about the kind things you do, in fact, you should feel effing amazing-- and keep doing them. I may be an idealist, but if we knew more about all the good things going on in the world, I probably wouldn't be so paranoid about the year 2012 coming. I keep trying to do this ONE big, nice, unexpected thing, but i've decided instead, that i'm going to strive daily to do something kind, even in the most simple form. We should all take a chapter from the book of Ellen DeGeneres, she seems damn nice.

GOOD BYE CHEER and INSPIRATIONAL WORDS FOR THE WEEKEND:

"Be. Aggressive.
Be. E. Aggressive.
B.E.A.G.G.R.E.S.S.I.V.E.
Aggressive.
B. E. Aggressive.
A-GRESS-IVE!"

Girl S--OUT

"Crazy" Human Beings

Today my brother said something so profound, I had to share. He is a 19-year-old freshman at a prestigious state university (also my alma mater), and having an older sister has certainly prepared him better for understanding girls than those boys without sisters- which is often the case.

Anyway, his future roommate (also male) has his first real girlfriend. (Like I said, it’s a prestigious state university. These kids all had 4.0s , AP and college credits, and were members of every club imaginable in high school but talking to the opposite sex makes them want to hurl. Like I also said, it’s my alma mater. I know.) Anywho, Roommate's first girlfriend is a regular 18-year-old girl- She talks a lot. She takes pictures of everything. She’ll run off with her girlfriend and giggle even when her boyfriend is around. So, Brother and Roommate went on a whirlwind Spring Break road trip . . . with Girlfriend and her friend. By Day 6 of togetherness, Girlfriend was on Roommate’s last nerve.

As my brother regaled me with the tale, he said so plainly:
Brother: “And I feel bad for Roommate. This is his first girlfriend so he doesn’t know that girls are crazy.”
Girl J: “Excuse me?”
Brother: “You know, girls are crazy. Not like crazy crazy, but as in they’re crazy. You become used to it, and then you appreciate how endearing it is. Girl J, we're different and to the other person that makes you "crazy". Otherwise we’d all be like the Human Being.” (Reference to NBC’s sleeper hit “Community” and the school’s mascot, the Greendale Human Beings. See photo above.)

The thing is, besides being called “crazy,” I think his point is quite wise. Boys and girls are different and only when you recognize these differences can you truly appreciate what the opposite sex has to offer. (i.e. Explain to me again, why can't you wash those socks during football season?) I’m 25 and think I just realized this within the last year or so. Maybe he is the smarter sibling.

Girl J's ABCs of Lent

The Lenten season is upon us, and since each of us Girls of 2010 spent 12 to 16 years in Catholic school, I thought it was only right to share my Lenten resolutions. So, if you know me outside of the blogosphere you know I love abbreves, and I work for a company that loves a good acronym. Thus, it was only natural that I began referring to my goals as my “ABCs of Lent.”

A- Affirmations. I wanted to take the time over these introspective 40 days to affirm those I care about. We used to do this in high school all the time, but in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, we often don’t take the time to tell each of the amazing people in our lives just how amazing we truly think they are. So, if you’re reading this, get excited. You have some good words coming your way.

B- Bible. Any moms of a GO2010 may want to skip ahead to C. (Well, actually C isn’t my finest moment either so maybe just skip ahead to the end . . . . Mom, I know, you’re still there. . . . Okay, I think they’re gone.) Anyway, despite our Catholic schooling, my Bible knowledge is EMBARASSINGLY low. (I said I’m sorry, Mom.) I know stories, broad strokes, and overarching messages but not the way other Christians I’ve encountered know and understand it. Thus, I’ve began my personal quest to read the Bible. This doesn’t necessarily mean finish the Good Book in this time period, just make a solid effort to read a bit each day.

C- Cursing. Whereas A & B are to be done more, C is to be done less. I’ll admit it. My name is Girl J, and I have a potty mouth. I gave up cursing for Lent, and although I stumble every day, I have made solid strides. The saddest part about cursing is that these silly curse words are used more often than the extensive and grandiose vocabulary we cultivated during our quest for knowledge and higher learning. However, I rarely use that vocab and mostly just make up words in lieu of curse words. I said “son of a jubba” the other day. I’m not sure what that means or what I wanted it to mean, but I call that progress.

By our powers combined

Girl S is coming to town! This time tomorrow Girls J, S, and M will all be in the same city! (With Girl A sooo close and can come by at any time!! :) ) Girl S has a whole lot going on - a job interview and a birthday (she is turning 27, which is insane to me because she and I met right before her 16th birthday party. We're old.) so there may be some updates from her in the upcoming days!

What will the next days hold with this incredible powerhouse back together again? Only time will tell.