Tough Cookies

Watching Millionaire Matchmaker this weekend, I watched Patti talk about how men need to pay for dinner to establish they can take care of a woman; how women need to wear their hair long because men like it that way; how a woman couldn’t come to one of her parties because she was 15 lbs overweight and thus not up to Millionaire standards. Wow. Where to start.

First, I don’t know about you all, but I hear a lot of superficial things the women have to do/work on to be introduced to this millionaire who is coming in less than perfect. Patti never says, “You really should have finished your Masters degree” or “You don’t volunteer enough” as the reasons women aren’t invited on the yacht. Second, nothing’s ever mentioned about a female’s value as a partner, which my parents raised me to believe marriage (the point of using a matchmaker) was about . . . silly hippies. Finally, I ask- why do these poor girls do all the things she asks just because these guys have a solid business or invested wisely? Ladies, money doesn’t make a man good. Yes, there are good men with money, but I would rather live in a refrigerator box with Conan O’Brien (pretending he didn’t just receive a multi-million dollar settlement) than with Donald Trump in his tower any day.

But that’s neither here nor there; the crux is I understand what Patti’s selling. Guys want a lady and sometimes femininity is lost in the shuffle of being a strong, independent woman. But, fellas, you gots to give us a break. It’s not easy to be all of these things. I admit, I like to feel girly (don’t tell Girl M.) However, I also have to keep a certain amount of guard up. I mean, I’ve watched plenty Lifetime movies to know you can’t trust all fellas. (Just a joke. . . not the part about watching Lifetime movies. That’s very real.)

In all seriousness though, I have to take care of myself and that has made me a stronger individual then the dainty women Patti’s peddling. Just this weekend, while out for a Bachelorette party, I watched a guy push the envelope with one of the girls in the party. Whilst I was walking to the bathroom with another Girl J (Girl J#2), a guy thought it’d be funny to block her from leaving the dance floor. She stepped to the right to pass him. He stepped in front of her. She stepped to the left. So did he. She politely laughed and tried to pass a few more times. He was in her path each instance. Finally, Girl J#2 pushed him to get by. Then, he, of course, called her b@*$^ as if she was a brute for the altercation. Now, Girl J#2 is not a pusher (think Jesse from Saved by the Bell more so than Natalie from Bad Girls Club) and in all honesty, the guy in this scenario was a jerk and not representative of all men. (He ended up getting kicked out of the place because he was getting to handsy with all the ladies.)

However, the real point I’m trying to express is that we girls are faced with this stuff all the time and have to be tough cookies sometimes because of it. I know some of my experiences as a single girl in the city have made me tougher, but I think I’m better for it. I wish women were respected because they take care of themselves – not called names. I know I have plenty of people in my camp on this (everyone in this blog for sure), but I think it’s important to affirm how proud I am of all the Girls of 2010 for being strong, self-assured, independent women.

Lastly, I hope men realize just because a woman is strong and independent, doesn’t mean she isn’t a lady and likes to be treated as one. . . So feel free to hold the door open for us when we take you out to dinner.