Girl A

Here are my things. I don't think you know them. A little delayed-but I figured the threat deadline of 7 days was weak. I knew I had until New Year's before I was truly shunned.

1. I am completely afraid of the primary care physician. I will gladly pay a visit every year to the allergist, gynecologist, dermatologist, dentist- no problem. I don't mind these various doctors taking a look at various pieces of me, but the thought of someone measuring me up in total seems entirely too invasive. I have avoided a primary care visit since 2004 when I returned from Thailand. And that was just to make sure I wasn't carrying some deadly Asian bird flu. And my mom made me.

2. I typically wait until sweaters and shirts I own actually get holes in them before I'll let myself buy new clothes.

3.When I was little, and I would get the rare treat of McDonald's, I would never be allowed to get fries AND a milkshake. I had to choose one or the other. I still adhere to this rule today at 27.

4. I am at my happiest when I am dreadfully busy. Although, I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to plan my life so I am balanced and stress free. Seems counter intuitive I suppose.

5. I hate, loathe, despise inefficiency. Like if husband and I are doing errands, and we need a sponge, and we're at Target and we forget the sponge and have to go back- I literally almost lose it. It's a bad trait. I wish I could be more flexible. I'm learning.

6. Girl M- I sit down too.

7. I am often so concerned we won't have the money to pay the bills when we need it, that I tend to pay them before their due date. Just in case.

8. I negotiate with myself at least a dozen times a day. And I'm a tough opponent. I took a masters class in it once. Like, 'if you eat that cookie, you have to go for a run.' 'I'll go for a jog.' 'No, a run.' 'Ok I'll only eat half the cookie, and then jog.' 'Deal.'

9. I want a kid or kids, but I often have worries I'm too selfish. Like, when a 3 year old is throwing a legit tantrum on metro or in a restaurant, I have restraint problems. I feel like I'm going to explore. I am secretly terrified I don't have what it takes to be a good mother.

10. I'm a weenie and hate scary movies, which you may know. But it's more because I am afraid of what I'll dream.

Girl J-- you're up to bat.

Better Late Than Never

So a little bit ago, Girl S threw down a challenge for us all to share 10 secrets. I know there was some sort of deadline, and I'm positive I missed it...mostly because I forgot how to post to this thing! (Don't tell Girl A). Girl S's post was motivated by her dislike of Halloween, so it's only appropriate that I lead off the ten things you don't know about Girl M with:

1) I'm not a fan of Thanksgiving. It's the only major holiday that does not have booze associated with it. Christmas has spiked eggnog, valentine's day has champagne (or roofie-coladas, depending on where you are in the relationship), Easter has church wine (Jesus Juice), Paddy's day has guinness, and July 4th has jungle juice and bud light. What does Thanksgiving have? Family. WITHOUT. ALCOHOL. Doesn't seem right, yo. I can't drink a turkey.

2) Sometimes I wonder if I actually have a drinking problem. I don't really think I do...but if I found out I did...I wouldn't be shocked. (I'd probably just be drunk). I think I could definitely stop drinking if I wanted to...I just can't imagine ever wanting to. Guinness is just too damn good.

3) If someone put a gun to my head, I still couldn't name a single Justin Beiber song. I can't tell him and Emma Watson apart.

4) I used to be convinced I would be famous for something - not sure what - probably something totally random. Like the first girl to ever drink a turkey or something. And then I would pretend that Ellen was interviewing me, and in the interview, I would tell Ellen how I used to pretend that she was interviewing me. So it would go a little something like this "Oh my gosh Ellen, I have to confess, before I was famous I used to pretend that you were interviewing me when I was in the shower or something. It's so embarassing now that I'm famous." I still do this in the shower.

5) Unless I'm in a bar or other similarly gross public place, I just go ahead and plop right down on the toilet seat. I work hard. I play hard. I'm tired...and sometimes it feels like the bathroom is one of the only places where it's quiet (depending on what I had for dinner)where I can relax. Squatting above the seat reminds me of having to do wall sits when we would train for volleyball in high school. Aint nuthin relaxing about that. Also - I have never, nor will I ever, use one of those paper ring things that some nicer places have for you to put down on the seat before you sit on it. I figure if they've got their shit together enough to have paper butt protectors, their seats are probably pretty clean in the first place.

6) Sometimes I have very serious, legitimate concerns that I'm too gross.

7) If I could have one wish, it would be that I could write music.

8) If I hadn't doomed myself to professional life by going to law school, I think would have sleeves by now.

9) I have no idea what I'm doing. A little bit of me sorta hopes I never figure it out. It's more fun not knowing...and secretly hoping that maybe I really will get famous and be interviewed by Ellen.

10) I feel more at home in places I've never lived.

Accept My Challenge

Am I the only person in the world who could give or take Halloween? I’m just not a fan; I guess I think Halloween is for amateurs and posers. No offense to all those who love the holiday, it’s just not my bag (but in a very different, less bitter way than saying Valentines Day is not my bag). Once I was too old to ask for candy, I sort of gave up. You know what I did last night? I worked. My ass off. Whatevs, I have a big event this week. I’m not embarrassed. I worked while watching two terrifying movies; so technically, I’m still a bad ass—although I did sleep with my biggest knife next to my bed, rubber-banded my closet and bathrooms doors together so no one could get in through the front, and hid my box cutta' under my fancy pillows—bad ass none the less.

My friends think it’s weird I don’t like Halloween or costumizing; I feel like I should because everyone else does. I used to dress up (above). I love Hocus Pocus, scary movies and reading horrifying books. I’d be the first to go on a ghost tour or into an abandoned house looking for demons, but I’m the last to want to put on a costume and repeatedly tell people who I am. Shocking, I know…

SO, here is my challenge (a la Barney of HIMYM) to you girls. Let’s try and bring this blog back. Screw the rules and the list and the 10 things we should have done in 2010 but were too damn busy…

…although, never too busy to read tabloids…US Weekly has a column every issue where a celeb writes ‘25 things you don’t know about me.’ I think it will be funny to find out 25 little tidbits about you fools that may actually surprise us…like an indifference to Halloween or a closeted love of racy novels (ahem). I’ll start us off with a few, and then you go… If you don’t contribute to this list in the next 7 days, I will shun you at New Years. SHUN. YOU.

1. My favorite author is James Patterson
2. I dance in the shower
3. I like reading anything about Carl Jung, the Titanic, the Holocaust & Lil Wayne
4. I think my disdain for cheese is slowly fading, excluding cream cheese
5. Everyone thinks I’m a party animal, but I drink less than anyone I know
6. My favorite place to visit is DC
7. My favorite food is probably sandwiches. Or mint chocolate chip ice cream.
8. I don’t keep anything plugged in when I leave my house
9. I’m a Republican
10. I constantly hit things with the front of my car

Now you go…