Challenge Accepted

So, naturally in true Girl J fashion, I’m a bit late to the game, but I’m accepting the challenge nonetheless. However, I am also an open book so I am trying to think of things that none of these 3 girls know, and I am struggling but here we go:

1. When I was little, the first thing I wanted to be when I grew up was a tight rope walker. Despite my rounded frame, poor balance, and the lack of sufficient training facilities in the nearby area, I thought I had a chance. This endeavor was only overtaken years later for my desire to be . . . wait for it. . . an environmental photographer. I guess I thought National Geographic was wicked cool in 3rd grade. Both of these career paths were doomed once I realized I was scared of heights and disdained the nature.

2. Since everyone shared bathroom habits, I’ll tell one of mine. I listen to UYD in the shower. So, technically I’ve showered with Seth and Jonathan.

3. Despite being the 7th grade spelling champion, I am never sure how to spell words that have double consonants- most ironically “commitment.” (Thank God for spellcheck.)

4. I hate the circus with a fervent passion. Maybe it’s because I realized at a young age I wouldn’t be a tight rope walker, but I think there are a few reasons for this. First, I come from a long line of Italian women. We are scared of everything, and when those people are riding those motorcycles around that big globe thing or the guy’s in the lion cage it just scares me too much. Plus, have you seen what’s on cable? There are tons of more interesting things on there than what goes on at the circus.

5. I never mean to be late anywhere. Honestly, I usually think I’m going to be on time and am shocked when I’m late.

6. I am the most trusting soul you’ve ever met. If I meet someone and within moments they haven’t been mean to me or hit me or anything, I will tell them anything they want to know. I think it’s better to think people are inherently good and potentially get burned than be skeptical of everyone.

7. Nothing is sexier to me than a boy that reads for fun. . . or has a tattoo.

8. I love sushi but don’t know how to use chopsticks.

9. When I went to Europe with my family, I compared everything to the countries in Epcot. (i.e. “St. Mark’s Square is cleaner at Epcot.”) My parents were thrilled.

10. This one is a two-pronged point. A) If I could be any profession it would be a writer. B) I prefer to go to sleep with the TV on. Thus, if there isn’t a tv to be on or something like that, I create my novels in my head. Then, I’ll fall asleep. Then, next time (which could be the next night or months later) I’ll continue the story. Basically, I make mini-soap operas to catch some zzz’s.

What’s next, General? 15 more fun facts by NYE?

Girl A

Here are my things. I don't think you know them. A little delayed-but I figured the threat deadline of 7 days was weak. I knew I had until New Year's before I was truly shunned.

1. I am completely afraid of the primary care physician. I will gladly pay a visit every year to the allergist, gynecologist, dermatologist, dentist- no problem. I don't mind these various doctors taking a look at various pieces of me, but the thought of someone measuring me up in total seems entirely too invasive. I have avoided a primary care visit since 2004 when I returned from Thailand. And that was just to make sure I wasn't carrying some deadly Asian bird flu. And my mom made me.

2. I typically wait until sweaters and shirts I own actually get holes in them before I'll let myself buy new clothes.

3.When I was little, and I would get the rare treat of McDonald's, I would never be allowed to get fries AND a milkshake. I had to choose one or the other. I still adhere to this rule today at 27.

4. I am at my happiest when I am dreadfully busy. Although, I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to plan my life so I am balanced and stress free. Seems counter intuitive I suppose.

5. I hate, loathe, despise inefficiency. Like if husband and I are doing errands, and we need a sponge, and we're at Target and we forget the sponge and have to go back- I literally almost lose it. It's a bad trait. I wish I could be more flexible. I'm learning.

6. Girl M- I sit down too.

7. I am often so concerned we won't have the money to pay the bills when we need it, that I tend to pay them before their due date. Just in case.

8. I negotiate with myself at least a dozen times a day. And I'm a tough opponent. I took a masters class in it once. Like, 'if you eat that cookie, you have to go for a run.' 'I'll go for a jog.' 'No, a run.' 'Ok I'll only eat half the cookie, and then jog.' 'Deal.'

9. I want a kid or kids, but I often have worries I'm too selfish. Like, when a 3 year old is throwing a legit tantrum on metro or in a restaurant, I have restraint problems. I feel like I'm going to explore. I am secretly terrified I don't have what it takes to be a good mother.

10. I'm a weenie and hate scary movies, which you may know. But it's more because I am afraid of what I'll dream.

Girl J-- you're up to bat.

Better Late Than Never

So a little bit ago, Girl S threw down a challenge for us all to share 10 secrets. I know there was some sort of deadline, and I'm positive I missed it...mostly because I forgot how to post to this thing! (Don't tell Girl A). Girl S's post was motivated by her dislike of Halloween, so it's only appropriate that I lead off the ten things you don't know about Girl M with:

1) I'm not a fan of Thanksgiving. It's the only major holiday that does not have booze associated with it. Christmas has spiked eggnog, valentine's day has champagne (or roofie-coladas, depending on where you are in the relationship), Easter has church wine (Jesus Juice), Paddy's day has guinness, and July 4th has jungle juice and bud light. What does Thanksgiving have? Family. WITHOUT. ALCOHOL. Doesn't seem right, yo. I can't drink a turkey.

2) Sometimes I wonder if I actually have a drinking problem. I don't really think I do...but if I found out I did...I wouldn't be shocked. (I'd probably just be drunk). I think I could definitely stop drinking if I wanted to...I just can't imagine ever wanting to. Guinness is just too damn good.

3) If someone put a gun to my head, I still couldn't name a single Justin Beiber song. I can't tell him and Emma Watson apart.

4) I used to be convinced I would be famous for something - not sure what - probably something totally random. Like the first girl to ever drink a turkey or something. And then I would pretend that Ellen was interviewing me, and in the interview, I would tell Ellen how I used to pretend that she was interviewing me. So it would go a little something like this "Oh my gosh Ellen, I have to confess, before I was famous I used to pretend that you were interviewing me when I was in the shower or something. It's so embarassing now that I'm famous." I still do this in the shower.

5) Unless I'm in a bar or other similarly gross public place, I just go ahead and plop right down on the toilet seat. I work hard. I play hard. I'm tired...and sometimes it feels like the bathroom is one of the only places where it's quiet (depending on what I had for dinner)where I can relax. Squatting above the seat reminds me of having to do wall sits when we would train for volleyball in high school. Aint nuthin relaxing about that. Also - I have never, nor will I ever, use one of those paper ring things that some nicer places have for you to put down on the seat before you sit on it. I figure if they've got their shit together enough to have paper butt protectors, their seats are probably pretty clean in the first place.

6) Sometimes I have very serious, legitimate concerns that I'm too gross.

7) If I could have one wish, it would be that I could write music.

8) If I hadn't doomed myself to professional life by going to law school, I think would have sleeves by now.

9) I have no idea what I'm doing. A little bit of me sorta hopes I never figure it out. It's more fun not knowing...and secretly hoping that maybe I really will get famous and be interviewed by Ellen.

10) I feel more at home in places I've never lived.

Accept My Challenge

Am I the only person in the world who could give or take Halloween? I’m just not a fan; I guess I think Halloween is for amateurs and posers. No offense to all those who love the holiday, it’s just not my bag (but in a very different, less bitter way than saying Valentines Day is not my bag). Once I was too old to ask for candy, I sort of gave up. You know what I did last night? I worked. My ass off. Whatevs, I have a big event this week. I’m not embarrassed. I worked while watching two terrifying movies; so technically, I’m still a bad ass—although I did sleep with my biggest knife next to my bed, rubber-banded my closet and bathrooms doors together so no one could get in through the front, and hid my box cutta' under my fancy pillows—bad ass none the less.

My friends think it’s weird I don’t like Halloween or costumizing; I feel like I should because everyone else does. I used to dress up (above). I love Hocus Pocus, scary movies and reading horrifying books. I’d be the first to go on a ghost tour or into an abandoned house looking for demons, but I’m the last to want to put on a costume and repeatedly tell people who I am. Shocking, I know…

SO, here is my challenge (a la Barney of HIMYM) to you girls. Let’s try and bring this blog back. Screw the rules and the list and the 10 things we should have done in 2010 but were too damn busy…

…although, never too busy to read tabloids…US Weekly has a column every issue where a celeb writes ‘25 things you don’t know about me.’ I think it will be funny to find out 25 little tidbits about you fools that may actually surprise us…like an indifference to Halloween or a closeted love of racy novels (ahem). I’ll start us off with a few, and then you go… If you don’t contribute to this list in the next 7 days, I will shun you at New Years. SHUN. YOU.

1. My favorite author is James Patterson
2. I dance in the shower
3. I like reading anything about Carl Jung, the Titanic, the Holocaust & Lil Wayne
4. I think my disdain for cheese is slowly fading, excluding cream cheese
5. Everyone thinks I’m a party animal, but I drink less than anyone I know
6. My favorite place to visit is DC
7. My favorite food is probably sandwiches. Or mint chocolate chip ice cream.
8. I don’t keep anything plugged in when I leave my house
9. I’m a Republican
10. I constantly hit things with the front of my car

Now you go…

RAKs are contagious!

We're trendsetters!! Thursday night, at a work dinner, I was telling people about our 10 in '10 list. I mentioned the random acts of kindness, and how I never know what qualifies as a "random" act of kindness. (I still haven't figured it out.) Anyways, the next day at work this was posted to the vending machine at work. Is it just a coincidence that I was at dinner with 20 co-workers one evening debating the randomness of these good deeds, and the very next day there are $2 posted to the vending machine asking them to pay it foward? This has never happened in the 3 years I've been there so I struggle to believe it is. Way to go, GO2K10!

Mark Morrison is Underrated. And Chris Rock is Wrong.

Today girl J and I took a road trip of sorts to Harper’s Ferry….and by “Harper’s Ferry” I mean a McDonald’s, some dandelion fields, and some random ass Maryland fiefdom where there were more cows than people. We eventually found Harper’s Ferry (twenty minutes before they shut it down) but that’s neither here nor there. The point is – we had about five solid hours of car time and it was ALL awesome. Why, you ask? Well – the scintillating wit of Girl J made the ride more than pleasant, but the real treat was a little piece of heaven I like to call “the nineties station on Sirius radio.” Simply put – those jams are the jam!

Girl J knows lots of things about lots of things – and she mentioned that Chris Rock has a sketch where he says your favorite songs are the songs you first “boned down” to. At first, being of innocent mind and body that I am, I thought she meant “boned” as in the first time you de-boned poultry. (I’ve never done that, so I’d be totally musically screwed). Then I thought per chance she misspoke, and by “boned down” she meant “boned up,” as in “before I saw Fiddler on the Roof, I ‘boned up’ on my Yiddish.”

I soon realized (after Girl J gave me a quick demonstration with some gummy bears about what happens when two people love each other) that the scandalous Girl J was speaking of the “doing it.” That means if Chris Rock is right, my favorite song would be “Your Body is a Wonderland.” Though sometimes when I’m drunk I get confused, and once screamed “I lost my virginity to this song!” while a nice Mormon boy played “Comfortable” at an open mic night. (All John Mayer ballads sound the same. Am I right?)

I gotta be honest, I would take “Return of the Mac” over “Wonderland” in a hot second - mostly because “Wonderland” now reminds me of frat houses, baboon noises, and egregious chest hair. Regardless, it got me thinking. Why am I so nostalgic for the late nineties? What was going on in my life that makes me squeal like a school girl every time En Vogue’s “Don’t Let Go” comes on the radio? Why do the sweet sounds of Montel Jordan’s “This is How We Do It” fill me with glee? Why does that Merry Moon song about vegetarians make me feel like a new age girl now matter how old I get? (She don’t eat meat but she sure likes to…bone. OMG I get it now! Filthy.)

A quick perusal of the ol’ early high school year books reveals that I was still awkward as hell in the nineties, knee deep in braces, acne, and tammy fae make up. If I remember correctly, I was dating a guy from Girl S and my grade school at the time, who left me for a cheerleader at one of the “public” high schools. (Skanky sinner she was.) I’m sure I hated my parents with a vengeance. I was wearing Air Walks religiously. I had not two, but a single brow (a “uni,” if you will). By all objective standards, the late-nineties should never have been my glory days. Nevertheless, I spent five hours today doing the “Come on and Ride It, the Train” dance out of the sun roof whilst belting Keith Sweat tunes.

And then it hit me – I may have been socially awkward, unkempt, and downright visually offensive, but I spent the early nineties with Girls S, J, and A. That’s when we all met each other (with the exception of S and I), when we all realized we had something pretty frickin’ special, and when we started on the not so long-and-winding road to becoming like family to each other. I’d do anything for these broads, and I know they’d do anything for me (except delete that video of me on my 22nd birthday half naked on the floor of my dorm room attempting to either break dance or throw up. The record is unclear).

The late nineties is when I got me some sisters. I’d say that trumps egregious chest hair any day…

Oh what a night...

If there was ever something to blog about, it would absolutely be my shitty-ass night. It all started out so normally, poppin’ bottles at the club with friends, but then we got separated and around 2:30 am, things went south for Girl S. I shake my fist to last night. I raise both hands and exclaim “COME ON?!” to last night. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die after last night (which almost happened, sorta). And since I can barley speak the words about the events that transpired, I’ll write about it. Let it all out, if you will. Please know this blog will contain expletives, and as usual we ask that if you cannot handle it, earmuff it- or eyemuff it, whatevs.

Some nights are great, and some nights you accidentally get locked in your own bathroom with no lights, no hope, and no way out. In my own defense, I didn’t know I was stuck in my lavatory. I actually have no clue how I ended up there, hopeless and in the dark, but I swear it when I say I couldn’t get out. The door handle wouldn’t budge, I was (apparently) too drunk to even consider turning on the lights, and somehow my crazy carnal instincts kicked in. I tried clawing through my own fucking bathroom wall. I couldn’t see anything, so I decided to dig with my nails. Then, I hulked-out and bent a reinforced steel towel holder, which I totes planned on ramming through the wall, ceiling or door to create a hole for me to crawl out of. It was at that moment I convinced myself I was losing oxygen.

Really, I don’t know how this started or how I unknowingly wound up in my bathroom, thinking my life was over. What I do know is that I need to stop watching shows about murderers, death and violence. I’ll just say it: I think I thought I had been kidnapped. It happens all the time on Criminal Minds, so I did what all the other kidnapped girls on TV do—I started scream-crying “HELP ME! HELP ME” and banging on the bathroom walls, which at the time I thought were closing in on me.

If you haven’t figured it out, I drank entirely too much last night. My evening sucked, even before the bathroom debacle, and it’s really got me wondering how we get ourselves involved in certain shitty situations. Oddly enough, getting stuck in my own bathroom wasn’t the worst thing that happened last night, but it was the most eye opening.

Here are a few things I learned:
1. You cant claw through drywall
2. My neighbors are ass-holes for not checking on me. I was probably screaming for 10 minutes straight.
3. When in doubt, relax and look for the light switch.
4. Don’t think the worst of every situation; you’re probably not locked in a storage unit without lights or air, waiting for Killer to come back and finish you off.
5. If anyone was keeping count, I officially hulk-out on vodka/soda now too. Please add it to the list after whiskey and tequila.

Clearly, I made it out alive. At some point the door popped itself open, or my screaming sobered me up long enough to locate the handle…but I swear it opened on its own, or perhaps Killer did it. The best part is, I actually have a friend who came over to make sure I was okay, and that there was no one in my house. At 3am. He didn’t even judge me, or my destroyed bathroom. I am some sorta crazy, I tell ya…

As always, I will leave the readers with a cheer. Something to sum up me night, matey.

R-O-W-D-I-E

THAT'S the way we spell ROWDIE

Get ROWDIE

YA YA

Get ROWDIE

ROWW-D!!!

Just me, my pineapple and my composition notebook pants...

Girl S here...finally...Below is the list of 10 things we need to accomplish in 2010. It took me 33 minutes to sort through emails to find this damn thing. I also woke up to 8am to the sound of chainsaws and blowers, so this blog about my current personal progress will most definately contain explitives. Earmuff it if you can't handle it- or Eyemuff it..whatevs

1. Go to a state you’ve never been to

2. Become a regular at a bar

3. Take one class on anything that interests you- must be a series

4. Read 1 book suggested by another one of us

5. Write a letter to the editor/get something published

6. Help Build a Home for someone – can’t know the person! Has to be an act of charity.
7. Try a New Church

8. Make a New Friend - We are talking straight up stranger here people.
9. Commit to writing for at least 10 minutes, 5 days a week

10. At least 1 day a month, perform a random act of kindness

My progress and thoughts are below. Please feel free to respond.

1. Go to a state you have never been to: We havent planned anything, and i'm getting scared because we have two ladies in this group getting married. Are you allowed to go on girlfriend trips once you're married?? What are the rules once you're hitched? What rules do your friends play by? I know there is a lot of hype about the bride, but all too often, 'here comes the bride' has meant ' there goes your buddy.'

2. Become a regular at a bar: Maybe we should switch this one for me "stay away from the bars so the bar-keep who saw you fall down the steps and throw your shoe at a bum will soon forget your name."

3. Take one class on anything that interest you: I cant commit to any sort of schoolin' until my 6 month grace period ends (May 2010). I dont like to be commited to learning. I just like to do it on my own. I spent 22 straight years in school and feel like the most important thing I learned was the golden rule...which doesnt cost $100k....oh, and I can sing-recite the preamble to the constitution. We the PEEEE-puuuulll....

4. Read 1 book suggested by another one of us: Seeee, I thought we had to read as many books as possible- i'm down here reading my ass off waiting for my fucking purple pin and personal pan pizza. FAIL.

5. Write a letter to the editor/get something published: I recently wrote a strongly worded letter to my apartment complex about the parking situation. It wasn't published or sent, but it was pretty fancy. One day though, I will write that book i've been threatening to. No names will be changed to protect the innocent. Just you wait..

6. Help Build a home for someone: I can't wait to do this!! If I could build homes for people who NEEDED them everyday of my damn life, I would do it. I'm extremely grassroots when it comes to most things, and I like using my hands and heart simultaneously. If my resume could simply read "I just wanna do good things, change the world, and make people happy," it would.

7. Try a new church: This one is tricky for me, i'll be honest. After 25ish years of the ole Body 'N Blood, I dont know if I can go elsewhere. I feel at home and comfortable in my faith, but in the way you are with your favorite sweatshirt or running shoes-- they feel good, but you know you need to change because they just don't fit anymore. I'm actually reading a book called "Angry Conversations with God," by Susan Isaacs, and have never related MORE in my life to a persons' thoughts, beliefs, questions and grievances with God. Once I solidify the foundation i've worked 25ish years to build, THEN I will explore what else is out there.

8. Make a New friend- straight up stranger: How friendly do we need to get? Do we need to be phone-talkin' friends?? Every friend I can think of I have met through another friend.--nutty. Seven degrees of separation, kevin bacon WHAT?! I would like to amend this to state: new friend cannot be made at work. AKA, when I get a new job, those fools don't count.

9. Commit to writing for a least 10 mins a day: YIIIKES. Even in all of unemployments' fabolous glory, I have not wanted to commit to sitting down and writing. I dont know if it's the writing or the committing, but its safe to say i'm equally terrified of both. On my list of life goals "write a book" is on the tippy tippy top, but simply writing my feelings is something I have dreaded since we had 'journaling' assingments in religion class at age 7. Wackness. What kinds of feelings could a 7 year old have? "I'm hungry. Danny looks so fine with his front tooth missing. Allison gave me lice. I can't wait for kickball?" I was worn out from journaling, and I couldnt express myself any more by the end of the 3rd grade. Now, I have an internal stigma associated with writing and expressing myself. I shake my fist, SPS*

10. At least 1 day a month, perform a random act of kindness: In the episode of Friends entitled "The one where Phoebe hates PBS," she tells Joey that all acts of kindness are inherently selfish because they make you feel good personally. So, Phoebe sets out to do things that are kind, but would make her feel bad AKA, getting stung by a bee so the bee would look macho to his bee-friends. The bee was played for a fool because he died as a result of the stinging. All i'm saying is kindness is a often a two way street, and Karma isn't always a bitch. It's okay to feel good about the kind things you do, in fact, you should feel effing amazing-- and keep doing them. I may be an idealist, but if we knew more about all the good things going on in the world, I probably wouldn't be so paranoid about the year 2012 coming. I keep trying to do this ONE big, nice, unexpected thing, but i've decided instead, that i'm going to strive daily to do something kind, even in the most simple form. We should all take a chapter from the book of Ellen DeGeneres, she seems damn nice.

GOOD BYE CHEER and INSPIRATIONAL WORDS FOR THE WEEKEND:

"Be. Aggressive.
Be. E. Aggressive.
B.E.A.G.G.R.E.S.S.I.V.E.
Aggressive.
B. E. Aggressive.
A-GRESS-IVE!"

Girl S--OUT

"Crazy" Human Beings

Today my brother said something so profound, I had to share. He is a 19-year-old freshman at a prestigious state university (also my alma mater), and having an older sister has certainly prepared him better for understanding girls than those boys without sisters- which is often the case.

Anyway, his future roommate (also male) has his first real girlfriend. (Like I said, it’s a prestigious state university. These kids all had 4.0s , AP and college credits, and were members of every club imaginable in high school but talking to the opposite sex makes them want to hurl. Like I also said, it’s my alma mater. I know.) Anywho, Roommate's first girlfriend is a regular 18-year-old girl- She talks a lot. She takes pictures of everything. She’ll run off with her girlfriend and giggle even when her boyfriend is around. So, Brother and Roommate went on a whirlwind Spring Break road trip . . . with Girlfriend and her friend. By Day 6 of togetherness, Girlfriend was on Roommate’s last nerve.

As my brother regaled me with the tale, he said so plainly:
Brother: “And I feel bad for Roommate. This is his first girlfriend so he doesn’t know that girls are crazy.”
Girl J: “Excuse me?”
Brother: “You know, girls are crazy. Not like crazy crazy, but as in they’re crazy. You become used to it, and then you appreciate how endearing it is. Girl J, we're different and to the other person that makes you "crazy". Otherwise we’d all be like the Human Being.” (Reference to NBC’s sleeper hit “Community” and the school’s mascot, the Greendale Human Beings. See photo above.)

The thing is, besides being called “crazy,” I think his point is quite wise. Boys and girls are different and only when you recognize these differences can you truly appreciate what the opposite sex has to offer. (i.e. Explain to me again, why can't you wash those socks during football season?) I’m 25 and think I just realized this within the last year or so. Maybe he is the smarter sibling.

Girl J's ABCs of Lent

The Lenten season is upon us, and since each of us Girls of 2010 spent 12 to 16 years in Catholic school, I thought it was only right to share my Lenten resolutions. So, if you know me outside of the blogosphere you know I love abbreves, and I work for a company that loves a good acronym. Thus, it was only natural that I began referring to my goals as my “ABCs of Lent.”

A- Affirmations. I wanted to take the time over these introspective 40 days to affirm those I care about. We used to do this in high school all the time, but in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, we often don’t take the time to tell each of the amazing people in our lives just how amazing we truly think they are. So, if you’re reading this, get excited. You have some good words coming your way.

B- Bible. Any moms of a GO2010 may want to skip ahead to C. (Well, actually C isn’t my finest moment either so maybe just skip ahead to the end . . . . Mom, I know, you’re still there. . . . Okay, I think they’re gone.) Anyway, despite our Catholic schooling, my Bible knowledge is EMBARASSINGLY low. (I said I’m sorry, Mom.) I know stories, broad strokes, and overarching messages but not the way other Christians I’ve encountered know and understand it. Thus, I’ve began my personal quest to read the Bible. This doesn’t necessarily mean finish the Good Book in this time period, just make a solid effort to read a bit each day.

C- Cursing. Whereas A & B are to be done more, C is to be done less. I’ll admit it. My name is Girl J, and I have a potty mouth. I gave up cursing for Lent, and although I stumble every day, I have made solid strides. The saddest part about cursing is that these silly curse words are used more often than the extensive and grandiose vocabulary we cultivated during our quest for knowledge and higher learning. However, I rarely use that vocab and mostly just make up words in lieu of curse words. I said “son of a jubba” the other day. I’m not sure what that means or what I wanted it to mean, but I call that progress.

By our powers combined

Girl S is coming to town! This time tomorrow Girls J, S, and M will all be in the same city! (With Girl A sooo close and can come by at any time!! :) ) Girl S has a whole lot going on - a job interview and a birthday (she is turning 27, which is insane to me because she and I met right before her 16th birthday party. We're old.) so there may be some updates from her in the upcoming days!

What will the next days hold with this incredible powerhouse back together again? Only time will tell.

Tough Cookies

Watching Millionaire Matchmaker this weekend, I watched Patti talk about how men need to pay for dinner to establish they can take care of a woman; how women need to wear their hair long because men like it that way; how a woman couldn’t come to one of her parties because she was 15 lbs overweight and thus not up to Millionaire standards. Wow. Where to start.

First, I don’t know about you all, but I hear a lot of superficial things the women have to do/work on to be introduced to this millionaire who is coming in less than perfect. Patti never says, “You really should have finished your Masters degree” or “You don’t volunteer enough” as the reasons women aren’t invited on the yacht. Second, nothing’s ever mentioned about a female’s value as a partner, which my parents raised me to believe marriage (the point of using a matchmaker) was about . . . silly hippies. Finally, I ask- why do these poor girls do all the things she asks just because these guys have a solid business or invested wisely? Ladies, money doesn’t make a man good. Yes, there are good men with money, but I would rather live in a refrigerator box with Conan O’Brien (pretending he didn’t just receive a multi-million dollar settlement) than with Donald Trump in his tower any day.

But that’s neither here nor there; the crux is I understand what Patti’s selling. Guys want a lady and sometimes femininity is lost in the shuffle of being a strong, independent woman. But, fellas, you gots to give us a break. It’s not easy to be all of these things. I admit, I like to feel girly (don’t tell Girl M.) However, I also have to keep a certain amount of guard up. I mean, I’ve watched plenty Lifetime movies to know you can’t trust all fellas. (Just a joke. . . not the part about watching Lifetime movies. That’s very real.)

In all seriousness though, I have to take care of myself and that has made me a stronger individual then the dainty women Patti’s peddling. Just this weekend, while out for a Bachelorette party, I watched a guy push the envelope with one of the girls in the party. Whilst I was walking to the bathroom with another Girl J (Girl J#2), a guy thought it’d be funny to block her from leaving the dance floor. She stepped to the right to pass him. He stepped in front of her. She stepped to the left. So did he. She politely laughed and tried to pass a few more times. He was in her path each instance. Finally, Girl J#2 pushed him to get by. Then, he, of course, called her b@*$^ as if she was a brute for the altercation. Now, Girl J#2 is not a pusher (think Jesse from Saved by the Bell more so than Natalie from Bad Girls Club) and in all honesty, the guy in this scenario was a jerk and not representative of all men. (He ended up getting kicked out of the place because he was getting to handsy with all the ladies.)

However, the real point I’m trying to express is that we girls are faced with this stuff all the time and have to be tough cookies sometimes because of it. I know some of my experiences as a single girl in the city have made me tougher, but I think I’m better for it. I wish women were respected because they take care of themselves – not called names. I know I have plenty of people in my camp on this (everyone in this blog for sure), but I think it’s important to affirm how proud I am of all the Girls of 2010 for being strong, self-assured, independent women.

Lastly, I hope men realize just because a woman is strong and independent, doesn’t mean she isn’t a lady and likes to be treated as one. . . So feel free to hold the door open for us when we take you out to dinner.

February Progress Report: Random Acts of Kindness

One of the most ambiguous activities on our 2010 list, in my opinion, is performing a monthly random act of kindness. First, what constitutes “random” and what part of the act needs to be random? Does that mean only the recipient can be selected at random, which is one school of thought? Or should the act itself be the random component, and thus those closest to you are the most likely to benefit from your good deed? Ideally, I think both are correct and will be accepted by the group, but it’s still something that has me performing kind acts and going – What will the girls think?

As the girls and I have gone through the first six weeks of this endeavor, we’ve all tackled this goal differently. For the sake of marking our progress, I thought I would share our first round of good deeds as I am sure they will continue to evolve. We folded laundry for family members without being asked, filled a coworker’s secret stash of soda, and showed monetary appreciation for a homeless man’s musical stylings. All in all, a great first month. However, I’m personally stumped for February. Every idea I have has me saying – is this random enough? Is this kind enough?

So, what do you do when you’re stumped? Go to the Internets, and boy, am I glad I did.
A) It was entirely heartwarming to see that there were so many people out there working on this goal of perpetuating kindness. Google “random acts of kindness.” I promise you won’t be disappointed.
B) I found the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation http://www.actsofkindness.org/. I clearly joined and encourage all the girls of 2010 to check it out. They have ideas, suggestions, and testimonials for random acts of kindness in every facet of your life. So. Cool.
C) Best part is- It’s Random Acts of Kindness week (February 15-21)!! This tidbit was all the inspiration and motivation I needed for the month. I’ll be sure to share the progress after the task is completed.

Happy Kinding!

Girl A: Inspirational (by Girl J)

Well, it’s only right that Girl A shouldn’t describe herself after she’s gone through the trouble of setting up, accurately and poetically describing all of the players in this social experiment and documenting the first month of our foire into personal growth and development in 2010. However, Girl A totally would. She’s the organizer, and with a group such as Funny Tetons, Accomplished Adventurer, and Breezy Gangsta, we NEED an organizer.

Just as my book category accurately described myself, Girl A’s was totally spot-on –inspirational. Now, I ask you, how many people do you genuinely call “kind”? I offer to say that adjective is rarely used by myself because that word has almost a Biblical, larger-than-life connotation. Girl A is one of the few people I would bestow that title. Not only is she kind, ridiculously considerate, thoughtful and sweet, but you’re often so overwhelmed at the amazing and humble person she is, you rarely relish in her feats. She studied in Thailand for 9 months where she also taught English to the locals. She got her MBA whilst working a fulltime, emotionally demanding job serving her local community . . . . all while being down to party. If you’re not inspired, I suggest you look for another blog.

This Inspiring Organizer has a big year ahead of her- getting married, moving to a new city, and embarking on a new career. However, don’t be afeared, because if you are, you clearly didn’t read the above. She’s got this on lock.

Girl S: Breezy

The books Girl S liked were characterized as breezy. I thought I knew what breezy meant. Not totally sure. I thought it meant windy. I am thinking we're not trying to say Girl S is windy. I bet we're reaching for an alternate definition. Something like boss. Or fly. Or just plain gangsta. That's Girl S. She's a mother effin' gangsta. She's tan in February, rocks the bling, and when she gets her hair did and walks in the room- all the cool kids notice.

She is spot on honest. Which is a fun process to watch and/or be victim of. Things often spill out of her mouth and when some may be all "oh snap she just told that woman with the snake tattoo on her neck whose night job is definitely a ninja that she oughtta watch herself," Girl S has a kind of hilarious peace about her when she tells it like it is. Odds are, that woman ninja needed to ACTUALLY watch herself.

Girl S is just straight up real. She has an amazing presence about her. She's engaging and also crazy freaking funny. She's smart as all get out with a master's degree in her back pocket there's no telling what she'll get into next. Regardless of what it is, she'll definitely do it in style.

Girl M: Historical/Adventure

She has climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro. I will say (slash type) it again. She has climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro. Like, hey I am going to train for months and buy a big backpack and get a sherpa and learn native words like upendo. If this alone does not qualify her as adventurous, I'm going to want to know how you spend YOUR weekends.

This whole damn thing was Girl M's idea. So at the end of the year when we're all scrambling to help build a home for someone and get something published, she's likely to be the one we'll be cursing because Habitat doesn't need any more volunteers on December 31st?! What's with that? Anyway, this whole damn thing was her idea. And by calling it a damn thing, doesn't mean I don't love it. I love every part of it. This is just the type of thing Girl M likes to do. She likes to challenge herself. And through these challenges, she has accomplished a lot. Girl M has so many accomplishments that it has been hard for me not to write about each of them as I attempt to describe her. But Girl M is not only what she has accomplished. She is what she will accomplish.

An engaged attorney with a big heart and a booming set of pipes... there's no telling what this tornado of talent will do with her life. All I know is, I can't wait.

Girl J: Funny/Feel Good/Motivational

Girl M (to be nicknamed later) annointed each of us with fitting monikers based upon the books we like to read. (Reading books is one of the 'things' we're going to do. I know. You're impressed). Girl J is Funny/Feel Good/Motivational. Which is perfect, because it appears her books describe her.

Girl. J. Is. Funny. And I don't mean the kind of funny like, "oh haha you made a joke about farting in public." Athough there have been those. I mean like, "oh-my-GAD-you-just-strung-six-really-complicated-and-unrelated-ideas-together-into-one-sentence-that-was-so-insightful-and-smart-that-I-can't-control-the-volume-of-my-big-ole-belly-laugh-and-people-are-sneering-at-me-in-the-grocery-store" kind of funny. It is simply fantastic.

However, while Girl J is often dubbed the funny one, she is not only funny. She is sweet, and thoughtful, and good at remembering things that are important to you. Like your favorite sweet treat (aka a pound of cookie dough, what what) when you really need it. Or your favorite songs on a CD your freshman year of college when you're trying to convince yourself on the daily not to drop out and move back home to Florida. She keeps kids in school, ladies and gentlemen. She's the Grand Tetons of the east coast.

What Emotions?

There are four of us. Trying to do this thing. This---accomplishment thing. This thing where we commit to a common list of ten tasks we swear we're each going to do this year- 2010. Pinky promising and the whole bit.

We're all kind of crazy. We're pretty loud. Very happy. Very drunk, I mean full of life. We've been friends since we were 14. She knew her when she had braces, and she saw her sing in the high school plays, and she knew her when she had bangs, oh wait, we all had bangs. And mullets. Point being, a dozen years of friendship later-- we're going to do this thing. This accomplishment thing.

Being that we're loud, happy and drunk/full of life... we tended to evade our emotions. We scoffed at the girls that got all squishy about boys and blatantly laughed at each other when another cried at a skinned knee on the soccer field. We're tough, independent and all that. Except we're totally not. And only in our mid-pushing-late twenties have we allowed each into that dark place where those damn emotions come from. (The frontal lobe or the hypothalamus or the amygdala or something like that. I swear I passed neuroscience. At any rate, it's a dark and confusing place. That place emotions come from). We got all squishy about boys and definitely cried over skinned knees because have you ever skinned your knee in your twenties? ZOMG it hurts way more than when you're 14.


So, we're doing this kind of emotional thing. This accomplishment thing. We're committing to a common list of 10 things we all swear we'll do in 2010.